i can't hear my heartbeat. the city close to death and i feel joyful. what repugnance. i muse to the musical drone of sewer waterfalls. i can feel beauty and terror in once; it is well into darkness. a door slams too close, enslaves me to the comfort of my footstep rhythm. a slam into concrete, another slam -- it overpowers heartbeat. fear does that. and here, i create a lurking end for myself. i'm always close to death and only fear reminds me. cosmos, i deserve to be tried! if i cannot die a warrior's death, i am surely wasted.